Goodbye!

It is with great sadness that I end my blog of this Indian adventure. My husband and I are slowly transitioning our lives back to the US. Thus, I am ending my blog due to lack of time as we prepare to return to the states.

No more witty posts from me. I hope you have enjoyed them.

I can only say in reflection that I learned a lot! Loved a lot! Cried a lot! Laughed a lot during this adventure. I will never forget my time spent in India.

Best wishes to you and yours in 2013!!! Goodbye! 

Faded but Fabulous

Today while waiting at an intersection here in Gurgaon I noticed that they were selling new, bright orange plastic Hanuman statues to hang from your rear view mirror. I commented on the statues to Sushil (our driver) and he nodded at them in acknowledgement.

So I ask him, "do you think we need to get a new Hanuman for our car, Sushil?"

He looks up into the rear view mirror at me with confusion on his face. "Why, mam?"

"Because ours looks faded from the sun," I state while staring at our pale orange and white colored statue of the monkey god that was once a glorious bright sunny orange.

Sushil is silent.

"Well what do you think?"

"No mam, I don't think we need one?"

"Why, Sushil?"

"Because mam a new one will just fade out."

Yup. He was right. What good sound logic. Only a silly American would think we needed the new pretty one when the one we had was good enough. Lesson learned!

 

"Proof of Life"

Ok, I have a confession to make.

In 2000 a movie came out called "Proof of Life" which is basically the story about a married couple who move around the world as expats before the husband in the story is kidnapped while living in South America.

Time for the confession. I watched this movie when it came out which happened to be about a year before Lance and I got married. I remembered thinking that it was not a particularly great movie, BUT it was the first time I saw a movie portraying a different lifestyle which was that of an expat. I distinctly remember thinking, 'well aside from the whole kidnapping and violence part, that sounds like an intense lifestyle choice.' Unusual and interesting to live in a strange place and a emerse yourself in a new culture. I remember wondering if I would ever live in a foreign country. I remember thinking that probably will never happen, but I was excited, as a woman in my early 20s, that it could happen because anything was possible.

And now I am living as an expat while my husband toils away at work. Yes it is interesting and trying at the same time. I am truly glad for the experience. And obviously I am glad that my experience as an expat has NOT included kidnapping! Lord knows that would not be a good experience. I have thought about that movie and its portrail of life as an expat many, many times during my time in India. I have thought about Meg's chic, ethnic clothes. (I wanted her clothes but obviously I would wear bras! Geez what was up with that!) Housekeepers and drivers. (How nice would that be to have help.) Cool houses. (I wanted that cool glass and brightly colored house with the large pool.) Outdoor markets. (Strange, delicious foods).  Exotic landscapes. (Green trees, flowers, and misty mountains).

Truly, every day is my own "proof of life." Proof I am doing it and living life in a foreign land. Challenging myself every day to live outside of my comfort zone. You just never know where your life is going to take you! Amazing! 

The "Guilt" Theater

Our friends invited us over to dinner and to watch a movie....an old but good one starring Harrison Ford called Blade Runner. After enjoying a wonderful Asian dinner of mixed cultural origins we were ready to relax, prop our feet up, and enjoy the movie. As my husband and I settled down into the living room of our friends' well appointed and extremely large home (about 8,000 square feet), our hosts inform us we are not staying in but going to the clubhouse to watch this early 1980s movie on a bigger screen.

As we headed out the front door and proceeded towards the neighborhood's exclusive clubhouse I made polite conversation with our hosts. I was struck by the reality that I had never been to see a movie in a private theater. My hostess remarked that they reserved the theater often at the clubhouse because the amenities were so nice so this was just a perk of living in this Gurgaon neighborhood.

The four of us arrived at the clubhouse and were personally escorted up a private, marble staircase and into a very large personal theater that easily sat 100 people in individual leather recliners. I stood in the doorway with my mouth hanging open. Our friends had spent the last 20 years traveling as expats around Asia and thus were accustomed to such excess and services but this was new to me. Wow!!! That was all I could think. Our server approached us with beverages and popcorn and we each took a different chair on a different row so we could really stretch out.

The walls were covered in red velvet and one whole wall was covered with an extremely large screen. Even the sound system was impressively loud. It was incredible to watch a movie this way.

It is hard to know how to feel about this sort of wealth. I love my friends dearly and they give back a lot wherever they live. I am not sure I would feel comfortable living in a neighborhood like this......guilt and all.....but I will admit I enjoyed the movie that night. Another experience being an expat here has afforded me and one for which I will not soon forget. 

The Outdoor Market...energetically fantastic

I have a favorite outdoor market in New Delhi. I first had the pleasure of going there about 10 months ago with a friend of mine, another expat, from Mexico. She said she had discovered it one day while surfing around on the Internet and the reviews of it were quite good.

My driver took us that day so long ago on a bright, early spring afternoon. As he pulled up outside the entrance to the local favorite marketplace he commented to me that this place was not very safe and that a few weeks before they had actually had a bomb there. Yikes!!!!

I turned to my friend with shock on my face, "Where are you taking me!"

She just shrugged and said, "Well online they said it was great." She paused before continuing, "Oh come on, we will be fine. It is the middle of the day."

We headed out together two foreign girls on a mission to find some great deals at the local shopping hole. I will say I was not prepared for the overwhelming experiences of shopping in a local Indian market. The smells. The sights. The people. The haggling. It IS an experience like no other. Fast paced and anxious at the same time.

The overall market is a small community of uneven streets and crumbling store fronts crammed with shoppers and sales people alike all yelling and haggling and talking all at once. Clothing hangs from every stall and open space. Vibrantly fresh fruits and vegetables overflow from table tops. Women clad in beautiful brightly colored saris stash beloved treasures in cloth and poly bags. Every sales person wants us to look at their goods and to purchase something from them but every stall holds a different trinket or interesting article of clothing. We waved away and dismissed more than one irritating, demanding salesman that day as we generated way too much attention standing out as anything but locals. But we did score some amazing finds including caftans, kurtas, scarves, and lovely cheap wooden bangles (one of which I am currently wearing) for some incredibly cheap prices.

I had the pleasure of taking my sister there a few months ago. She seemed amazed as I navigated the cobblestone streets of this market that I have come to know so well with ease and brushed away frustrating sales people. I haggled for a good deal for each item she loved and exposed her to new smells, foods, and experiences through some deep immersion in the local flavors of Delhi. I think she ended up with about 20 scarves that day and a huge smile. She loved the experience. Sure there was trash laying around and the same sad street dogs but seeing the Indian people doing their normal thing at the market is lovely to see and experience.

The outdoor marketplace is so important to the whole experience of India. This is the place the locals come to catch up on gossip, purchase their groceries for family meals, and to add some more style to their look. It is expected that going to the market will not be relaxing or easy. It is exactly what it is suppose to be....dusty, noisy, and energetically fantastic!

Home for the Holidays

It is a funny thing to be home (in the US) for the Christmas season. Funny because my body is here, in the states, but my mind is 8,000 miles away. Every person I chat with or visit during my holiday visit wants to know about India. Same stories and inquisitive minds. Some even want to tell me about it, as one local jewelry maker, world traveler, friend of mine tried to do the other day. The crippling poverty. The stray dogs. The health concerns. A lovely lady for sure but I find myself nodding and smiling while I listened to her prattle on about books she had read and what she had experienced while visiting in India. After a lengthy conversation, fairly one sided I am sorry to say, I asked how long she had been India to which she responded 1 week. I would never insult a friend or work to embarrass her so I simple made an excuse about an errand I had to run and walked away. Lucky for me she doesn't read my blog. 

Others ask a ton of questions. Some can't believe they use hoses instead of toilet paper. Or that people knock on your door during Diwali and demand gifts. Friends want to know about the food. How it is to have a driver or someone who cleans your house every day. It is funny to know talk about details of life in India that are not so novel but everyday events for me. 

I have realized that once I return to normal life in the US, next year most likely, I probably won't have anything to talk about. Instead I will become that person people avoid at parties who says things like, "Well, when we lived in India...." That will eventually send them running won't it. 'No more' they will say. 'I can't handle another story!!!' It is coming. Interesting stories now. Boring later. 

The reality is most of what my life has been like while living in a foreign country are things I can't share, or rather don't want to. The subtle ways your thinking changes. The odd feeling of seeing Christian crosses and Christmas decorations everywhere when I come home instead of Shiva, Ganesh, Hanuman. Before moving overseas I think I was naive about how the rest of the world thought and believed. The way I cringe when someone talks about the 99 percent in this country. (Hey, don't complain. Go see how the rest of the world lives for goodness sake.) It is a strange feeling to feel like a foreigner when I come home. Somehow not fitting in now that my mind has been blown. But not being an Indian either. Yes mind blowing indeed to be so odd. 

My wish for you? That you live someplace that changes you forever. Truly amazing learning experience to be in a place, part of it, even if just for a short while. 

So even though I am home for Christmas my mind stays in India. Thinking, analyzing, and trying to sort it all out. Making sense of the world from one corner of it to another. 

Lord Shiva

I was driving into Delhi the other day to go shopping and have lunch with some girl friends when I heard my driver honk the horn. Now this is obviously a very Indian act as anyone who has ever traveled in India would tell you. Drivers here honk as if to say, 'Hey I am here. Don't hit me.' They really don't (well at least not usually) honk their horn to be rude. You do get used to it.

So, my driver honks the car horn on our vehicle and then presses his palms together and brings them close to his forehead and slightly bows towards the right hand side of the road. The motion was obviously vexing to me so I glanced to the right and there beside the road was a massive, and I mean massive, red stone statue of Lord Shiva. The statue was beautiful to say the least and towered proudly into the air with the usual snake adorning his shoulders. We continue moving at about 60 miles an hour along the highway in the car.



I was awe struck. How long had my driver been doing this motion? Why had I never noticed this before? Why had I never seen this statue beside the road in the past? I knew from its size and location it wasn't new. I remained quiet in the car as it was not my place to comment on such a personal and religious action, and I didn't want to offend Sushil by asking about it.

So, I watched him the next few times we drove by that spot over the next several weeks and every time he did the same honk, pressed palm raise, and bow of the head. It was really lovely to see. It was personal. A quiet moment for a driver to give his respect to a god in which he believes. 

"Servant" Shock

I live in a nice gated neighborhood in Gurgaon and enjoy living in such a lovely, garden filled space but today I was again shocked by the differences in how I think and how my Indian friends do. I have enclosed an email (removing identifiers) that was sent out this afternoon so you could read it and respond in your own mind. This email was sent from one resident in my compound to the rest of the residents in the neighborhood.

"Dear all

A very good morning to all of you

Today I went for the morning walk in block Y GARDEN and had both A PLEASANT SURPRISE and A GREAT SHOCK.

First the surprise, I saw a beautiful lady (owner) walking with her DOG who herself immediately cleared the dog mess. My heart was filled with respect for the lady.

Now the shock, thereafter I found piles of dog poop lying AT SIX seven places around the walking path. I brought the same in the notice of facility worker who seemed reluctant in clearing the dog poop.

I think there may be two reasons for this

1. Although the owners have asked their servants to clean the dog poop but they do not do it.

2. Many dog owners who are not the members of the YAHOO GROUP are not aware of the practice of cleaning the Dog poop by themselves.

I have three suggestions

1. Send a notice through Help Desk regarding clearing of the dog poop by the person with the dog. This will make them aware of this wonderful practice.

2. The dog owners should be strict with their servants in this regard and should do surprise check on their servants.

3. Ask facility to appoint a sweeper in the morning to do this job in case any person is being careless in regard to their dogs.

At end, I will say we pay so much maintenance cost for this wonderful place, so we all should do our best to get the feeling of a wonderful stay here.

Thanks"

The use of the word and concept of "servant" and the need to "be strict" with them is shocking to me. I mean I have a gentlemen who cleans our house every day for 2 to 3 hours (Monday to Friday) but I would never dream of calling him a servant or treating him as such. I have even been given feedback from my Indian friends that I am overpaying him (about double according to them) for his services. I would never dream of paying him less because it simply wouldn't feel right if I did. It would feel like I was taking advantage of his situation. 

To put this in further perspective I have a friend who was given, by her parents, a wedding gift of 4 full time servants. They live with her and work for her today...right now...in her house. She sees nothing wrong with this at all. A true cultural difference and a shock for me. You be the judge. 

Diwali Perfection

Diwali is the Festival of Lights and is held every fall in India. This festival is a five day event devoted to being with family and friends, eating delicious sweets, and lighting small clay lamps (and/or shooting off fireworks). It is the celebration of the triumph of good over evil and thus has spiritual significance for the people here.

My husband and I, being from the US, decided to stay in on Diwali and cook our traditional Thanksgiving dinner. We knew that everyone else would be enjoy good food with family so we would do the same. Our little meal consisted of huge smoked turkey legs, cornbread stuffing, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole (with the marshmallow topping as I could not find pecans here), rolls, and apple pie for dessert. A British friend of ours who was feeling a bit lonely joined us for the meal on the night of Diwali.

We sat chatting for some time and enjoying our food when the fireworks began outside. First one and then another. Bang. Bang. Bang.

So we put on our shoes and headed out to see the show. Wow! Everywhere you looked the sky was filled with fireworks. Kids ran around on the street with sparklers held high in the air. Mothers looked on as sons and daughters lit fountains of colorful fire. Small children clapped and laughed in delight clad in their best attire. Everyone was in happy spirits. Homes were decorated with colors and lights as well. Clay lamps were placed on front porches, steps, and fragrant orange flowers lay strategically placed on homes and sidewalks. We walked around the neighborhood in wonder. Every door was open and every person we met greeted us with a "Happy Diwali." It was lovely.

In a central location in our neighborhood on a high grassy spot we simply sat down for about an hour and just enjoyed the festivities. Three foreigners in a strange land enjoying one of the most important holidays in the this country. I will genuinely never forget this day. Ever! Beautiful moment for sure.

Less Time. Less Money. More Joy.

My husband and I will be heading home in December for the Christmas holiday. We plan on spending quality time with our family, eating good food, and enjoying our house in the US. Christmas is truly our favorite time of the year. Since we will not be in India during the Christmas holiday we decided to put up our tree here so we could enjoy it for a few weeks before heading home. 

I packed a small artificial tree in our shipment when we first moved to India so I got it out of storage and dusted off the branches. It took all of 2 minutes to do this. Then we realized we needed lights so we headed to our local store here in Gurgaon and purchased a nice red set intended for the Diwali festivities (Diwali is the Festival of Lights in India). Once purchased we headed home and decorated the tree with the bright red, lovely lights. 

I had not brought ornaments with us so the tree looked very bare. We spent the next day looking for anything that could be used as ornaments. Nothing could be found in any stores around here. So, at last we decided to string some popcorn for the garland and cut out white paper snowflakes. We listened to Christmas music for the next hour while we worked on creating these trinkets for our tree. All in all, it turned out nicely if I do say so myself. Later our dog Bella would begin to gently bite off a piece of popcorn as she would walk by the tree. Now it only has lights and snowflakes on it but I truly don't mind. :) 

This tiny tree has reminded me of how little you need to be content with your holiday. My tree in the US is about 10 feet tall and every year is decorated with glass ornaments, ribbons, and about 800 lights.... and it takes me about 4 hours to put it up. This little guy brought me more joy than my US tree ever did and took no time at all plus I got to spend good quality time with my hubby making our little crafts (and dog treats).

Less time. Less money. More joy. 

A Southern Tradition

Ok, I was born and raised in the South. And I will admit that I somtimes miss the southern US. I miss good ol' southern iced tea. Front porches. Warm evenings. Brisket. Well you gt the picture. I love the south. So in honor of that tradition I thought I would share a very southern thing with you today. Something that me and my husband don't really get to do....like ever...since we live in India but something that is very American and something that once we move home (someday) we will do again.

While I was home a few weeks ago my family decided to do a time honored southern tradition of target practice. Yup. Guns. Fire power. Excitement. While I am not an avid shooter myself....my entire, and I mean entire, family is. I do enjoy a warm fire, the smell of gun powder, and occasionaly like to practice shooting too. So, enjoy some pictures of a tradition that I miss while living in India. Another thing that seems to seperate me from the fine folks of India.

In these pictures are my parents, sister, brother-in-law, and myself.

Good ole southern fun. I will be home someday! So, keep the tea cold.....

Taj Mahal

My friends and I had the chance to visit the Taj Mahal last week. It is an amazing white marble mausoleum in Agra, India that most consider to be one of the "Seven Wonders of the Modern World." It was definitely beautiful. In the first picture you will see Alan, Amy, me, Lance (my husband), and Ian.

Lotus Temple

The weather had begun to cool down and the days shorten as the month of November began with a kick. Thus some friends of ours wanted to venture into Delhi to take in a few more sites and enjoy the weather before heading to their respective homes on the North American continent. A close friend of mine recommended that we visit the Lotus Temple in Delhi.

The Lotus Temple was build by the Bahai as a place of worship. All people are welcome to attend a service or just visit the temple located in Delhi free of charge. The temple itself is a gathering place for people of all religions to come together and worship God without denominational restrictions such as rules that one must be Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Jew, etc to pray together. 

So, on a cooler Saturday afternoon the four of us ventured to the temple. Upon arrival we were wowed by the overall building. White marble was used to create a large lotus shape that contains 27 petals making up the outer walls of the temple. Ponds of blue water circle the structure on all sides. We stood amazed at the beauty of the building. A feat of architectural wonder.

We were then asked to remove our shoes and place them in sacks as no one is allowed to wear shoes inside the temple. We were,of course, uncomfortable walking around without shoes on as Delhi is not a very clean place but quickly adjusted to the request as leaving them on would have kept us from being allowed into the building. So, we took them off and followed the line of folks to the side entrance of the temple. We were asked to refrain from speaking, turn off our cell phones, and not take any photographs once inside the temple. We of course would abide by these rules (others that were not in our party did not). 

Inside we discovered the ceiling and walls showed the interior structure of the lotus bloom (petals and all). There were marble benches strategically placed around the temple. There were no statues, images, or even altars inside the room. Thus everyone just took a seat around the large temple and relaxed in the silence. Some people meditated. Others prayed. Some just sat in silence taking in the space and the lovely quiet solitude. 

We sat on a long, hard marble bench and I found myself choking up as I realized that this was the first temple or place of worship I had ever visited in my life that truly focused on welcoming everyone regardless of religion or belief. It was a welcoming and wonderful feeling. I found myself wishing that every place of worship could be this open and welcoming and non-judgmental. There certainly would be less war, hate, and fear if all were allowed to worship without people trying to change them or make them believe something different. I am myself a Christian but would never tell a Hindu, Muslim, etc that there faith was wrong and mine was right. Likewise, I do get very upset if others try to tell me my faith is wrong and I need to conform to theirs. Living in a country were most people do not believe in the same God (or even number of gods for that matter) as you encourages a person to be more open to the differences between people. (NOTE: I know not everyone reading this will agree with that statement so I will apologize if this offended you as I certainly am not trying to change your beliefs in any way but am simply speaking about myself!)

The lotus flower obviously means different things to different religions. Generally, the lotus flower represents purity, spirituality, and rebirth. A great choice for a temple that welcomes all people. A beautiful moment for me and I hope for others that visit the place. 

My Worst Nightmare

Today I was driving home from a visit to the Taj Mahal. (Note: I will share pictures of this very soon.) A glorious building by the way that truly takes your breathe away. But this post is not about the gleaming, white marble Taj Mahal. NO, it is about the hideous washroom incident I had to deal with while in route back to Delhi.

My friend and I, being both females, had the urge to use the bathroom for a number 1 situation (for those not from the states this means we needed to pee). Thus we stopped at the closest facilities on a very barren road between Agra and Delhi. This particular rest stop happened to have some packaged chips and some soda pops. Our merry crowd proceeded to select their needed beverages and snacks for the rest of the journey while my friend and I asked about directions to the washroom.

Here is the literal description of the facilities we encountered told in my own words...

"I asked the service associate where the facilities were and he ushered me back to a small doorway underneath the stairwell. The room had a tiny ventilation window on the dingy brown door. Upon opening the door I noticed that the room had no light inside it, thus once the door was closed the visitor was sitting in total darkness. This tiny washroom was about 4 feet by 4 feet in size and pretty much looked like it had never been cleaned....ever! I quickly also realized that the toilet was simply a disgusting hole in the floor that did not flush and also happened to have a layer of piss all over it. I really had to pee, so I thought through my options. Go outside and piss while 20 or 30 Indian men stared on at wonder at the white lady (no I don't think so) or use the only available toilet. So, I took a deep breathe of fresh air and headed into the dismal accommodations. As soon as the door was closed I was in total darkness. My sandal clad feet slid on the urine that lined the hole and I righted myself before toes touched water...or whatever was down in that hole. I cringed but pulled my pants down and did my business as quickly as possible hoping and praying I was far enough away from the hole that the back-splash wouldn't get me. The tomb was stifling. No air at all was moving in that tiny space. There was no toilet paper and I was running out of breathe. I quickly pushed the door open with my feet and proceeded to button up my pants outside the door because the smell of feces was permeating everything."

 My friend went in next doing pretty much the same thing and describing it in a similar fashion.

Disgusting. When I close my eyes I still see that hole and feel that oppressive darkness. Like being locked inside the actual hole itself. I thought to myself what must this be like to only have facilities like this to use every day. Never having a clean spot to use the bathroom. Terrifying. My worst nightmare. Truly.

And wouldn't you know...another mile down the road and there were lovely, sparkly, clean public washrooms. Ugh!

Jaipur, India

I had the wonderful opportunity this week to visit a beautiful place in India with some fellow travelers. We stayed in Jaipur, which is in the Indian state of Rajashtan. This glorious city is well known for its amazing colors, delicious foods, and wonderful shopping (jewelry and clothing). It is called by many "The Pink City" because of its many amazing monuments, forts, palaces, and other historical sites that are pink in color. Below are some of my pictures of this visit to Jaipur for you to enjoy. If you are ever in India you must visit this amazing city.

First Impressions

We have had several friends in town this week to see the sites of this country and to watch the India Formula One Race. On day 2 of their visit I asked them to describe what their first impressions of the country were from their US perspectives. Here is what they had to say in the order they stated it....

"India is very dirty and trashy."

"The colors are brighter than I have ever seen anywhere else. Jaipur for instance has the brightest yellows and pinks I have ever seen."

"Compared to the shiny, refined US this country is rough and unpolished."

"The cows look strange!"

"The flavors and smells are very strong here."

"It is very noisy. The horns are really loud. I love it."

"This is some serious organized chaos."

"It is tiring and exhausting."

"They don't understand the concept of personal space."

"I am more grateful for my lifestyle and the access to goods now."

"India is a contradiction at all levels. Modern in many cities like Delhi yet severely undeveloped in other areas. Polished in places like the hotels but very rough in others like local city markets. Free in some aspects but restricted in others."

"The food is amazing."

"Riding in a car is terrifying."

"Visiting India is the experience of a lifetime. Everyone should see it at some point in their lives."

"Historical and beautiful."

I thought several of these ideas when I first moved to India. Many aspects to the Indian way of life I understand more having lived here for a year. Still I am intrigued by what others think of the country I currently call home. My hope is that all people get the chance to see and experience India some time. It is certainly not a country to visit if you just want to lay around, drink, and relax during vacation. It is a place to visit if you wish to grow and change your perspective on life. Opens your eyes and your senses. 

Warm, Sunny, and Comfortable

It has been a lovely day here in India. Just wanted to share a picture of my backyard. That is my dog Bella in the picture sniffing the grass. Warm, sunny, and comfortable. All is well today. I've got nothing else to say. :)

Open to Change

I am back in my hometown in the states this week and next. Soaking up cool autumn air and wide open spaces. I am a lucky lady that I get to head home often from India.

I took a lovely long walk this sunny afternoon to celebrate the changing seasons and my time spent at my home here. While walking I started thinking about how much I have changed whilst living in a foreign country. For instance, I find that I walk more than ever before to not only conserve natural resources but also to maintain a healthier lifestyle.

I spend a lot more time reading books, others blogs, and news journals and significantly less time watching TV. This substantially increases the general feeling of the day's length. You should definetly try life with less TV! I also think that this has genuinely improved my attitude as well. Another good selling point. To put this in perspective, I watch on average about 30 minutes a day compared to the US average of about 5 hours. Consider what other hobbies and loves you could develop with less time wasted on TV.

I am more of a patriot than ever before which I am told most expats go one way or the other on this aspect. Either closer love of home or a deeper resentment of it. I see an American flag and now...I cry. Really!!!

I enjoy my family more. I think living 8,000 miles away definetly gives you perspective on this one. Spending quality time together and tolerating differences better. This week, I had a lovely dinner at my house here in Arkansas with my parents who are in their 70s and discussed all the ways life is different now than when they were children.  It was a fantastic, relaxing evening.

I have also determined a much more unique style to my wardrobe and manner of speaking. I think living life as a foreigner forces you to acknowledge that, well heck you are always going to stand out so you might as well embrace it. This creates a deeper level of confidence than I have ever experienced before.

I have also learned the value in owning less stuff, appreciating what you have more, and generally consuming less. This also allows you to save a lot more money which is another perk of being an expat.

All in all, good changes. Happy that my life has forced these on me and glad I am and continue to be open to them. 

Veg with Non Veg. WHAT?

As you are probably aware the food here caters to vegetarians since many people in this country do not eat meat of any kind. Others will only eat chicken if they desire to eat meat but that is it. Of course they never eat beef for their religious reasons. Thus, my husband and I had a great conversation on the differences in food preferences here yesterday while eating at a restaurant in Delhi. 

We ordered the starter of "Corn Nibblers" (which is basically flour, water, corn, sugar, and green peppers) which you dip into a dill sour cream mixture. Really yummy. So we order our veg appetizer and when the waiter returns with our drinks we proceeded to tell him our main order. I was having the chicken sandwich and my husband was having the beef burger (water buffalo by the way). The waiter looks at us, staring with his mouth slightly open and says, "So veg starter....no meat....and beef sandwich for sir and chicken for mam?"

My husband says, "That is correct."

The waiter still stands there. "Veg for appetizer. Non Veg for your meal?" He looked confused. 

I respond, "Yes."

He says, "TK." (Otherwise known as 'thik hai' or in English 'OK.') He walks away to put our order in at the kitchen clearly slightly dumbfounded. 

As I sat there and thought about what had happened, which was a minor little incident, I realized the reason for his question. I asked my husband to see if he agreed, "Sometimes in India I get the feeling that people, like our waiter here who is probably a vegetarian, assume that if you are a meat eater that you must eat meat all the time. For instance, you must eat meat during your appetizer. You must eat meat during your main course. And perhaps you will eat meat during desert. And they appear to be concerned when you mix the two...veg with non-veg."

My husband laughed. "Hm. Maybe that is true. Or maybe he just assumed because we are American, and we all look overweight to them, that we must eat meat constantly." He made a little piggy face at me and oinked. 

We both laughed loudly at this. But as I thought about it a cultural reality hit me. Every time we ordered a vegetarian appetizer in the past year while living here we did get some confusion from the waiter about mixing the two. Maybe there is something to that. The concept that you can only eat veg or non-veg but NEVER combine the two. 

Funny what little cultural tidbits you randomly pick up while mulling over lunch.

Thank you India

So this past week has not been fun in India. The reason being, in most of the Middle Eastern and Southern Asian countries, there have been protests against that anti-Muslim made film that some idiot in the US made. So they have had protests occurring in Chennai and Delhi over the movie and over other things like the passing of FDI, which basically means that India is trying to allow global retailers into the Indian market but the different states in India are not cooperating with that ruling. Many here feel like FDI was American encouraged hence why they are further upset at the USA. In Chennai they burned cars and motorcycles, threw stones at the US Embassy, and burned an effigy of Obama. All in all, not so fun to be an American here this past few days and it is easy to get yourself all worked up about it too.



I stayed locked up in my house for a good part of last week trying to avoid downtown Delhi near the Consulate in case the protesters turn violent here as they have in many other places. I really am not paranoid...it is just that I normally go shopping or traveling around during the day by myself so it is better to be safe than sorry! And I kind of stick out as a foreigner here with my blond hair and pale skin.

No fun being caged up like an animal in my own home though. On the positive side of things though I have been painting, reading, and exercising a lot more.

I just finished the third painting in my fruits and veggies series. Here are two of them that I have painted thus far.

The one I finished this past week was an orange and a cherry. Just put the top coat on it about an hour ago so it is drying as I type this blog. And I have just finished reading Lord of the Rings and yes I read all three of the stories (Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, and Return of the King). And I have lost about 5 lbs by walking for 40 minutes or doing an hours worth of yoga every day. Yippeee for me! So maybe being holed up isn't such a bad thing after all. It lets you do some things you have maybe been wanting to get done for a while.

But during all of this (the protests and the locked up in my house stuff) I have had a song stuck in my head. Alanis Morissette's "Thank U." It keeps ringing in my ear. Here are a few lines...

'Thank you India.
Thank you terror.
Thank you disillusionment.
Thank you frailty.
Thank you consequence.
Thank you thank you silence.'

So, thank you India. You teach me so much every day. Sometimes I don't listen. And sometimes I feel like I don't care to hear the lesson. But there you are every day trying to make me grow. I might not like what is happening in the world or like being blamed for things I didn't do (like the fact that my government didn't make that film) but India you are trying to teach me to slow down. To stress less. Do more of what I love. Tolerate differences better. Thank you India. Thank you. I hear you and I AM trying.

A Walk in the Neighborhood

Most mornings, before I start my yoga practice, I take a long walk around my neighborhood. This morning I was particularly motivated to write a post about what I heard, smell, saw, and experienced because it is so unlike my neighborhood in the US.

As I walked out of my door this morning, one of the workers in the neighborhood was coming up the walkway to my house to collect the garbage. This gentleman comes every day of the week to collect the rubbish. And if we have failed to lay it outside on the porch he rings the doorbell and politely asks for the trash. I smile at him and say hello. He bends low and whispers, "Namaste mam." Such a lovely greeting.

I walk around the corner of my house and along the sidewalk that connects the houses in my complex. Each home here is a crisp white with pinkish colored roof tiles, balconies, and small gardens with pools. Each home looks the same but has owners/renters that do something different. I notice that my neighbors have planted a new group of pots along their fence. It smells lovely as I walk by. Another has recently hung up a row of brightly colored metal lanterns. Reds, purples, yellows, and greens shimmer back at me. 

I turn up the next row of houses and a security guard for my block stops to stand at attention as I walk by. I say hello to him too. He nods back at me. Eyes sharp as a hawk. Always watching. For what I do not know.

Down the block I notice a pretty Indian woman cleaning off the front steps and entry of the house for which she works. Her sari is bright red and green in the morning's early light. She is barefoot and scrubbing the floors with all her might. Her head is covered in a beautiful embroidered scarf.  She smiles shyly at me as I walk by before returning to her hard labors. 

To the front entry of my neighborhood I go. Security guards again, checking out a car and logging it in before allowing it entry into our block. They ignore me as I walk at a fast pace working up a good sweat. Busy and diligent in protecting the entrance.

I turn down the next lane, and immediately begin to faintly hear the sound of some mournful women singing in Hindi. I realize that it is coming from over the fence from outside the neighborhood. As I continue walking the woman's voice gets louder and I realize it is coming from a radio. It is turned up to a loud volume so others might enjoy her smooth voice. It is so different that the music we enjoy in the US that I stop to admire it for a while. Moved by words I do no understand but feel in my soul. 

Someone is making a delicious Indian breakfast on this block. I look around and notice a window open in one of the houses while women are inside cooking away. The smell of curry floats through the air and invades my nose. My mouth waters as I wonder what lovely foods they are preparing for breakfast. 

More security guards. Stoic and silent. I walk past. 

I am now heading back towards my street and notice that several drivers have gathered in the parking area at the end of the lane. They are chatting loudly while they lounge on the grass enjoying some beverage together out of a tall, silver canteen. Chai I should think. They smile at me as I walk by. My driver, who is sitting with them, stands and says, "Good morning mam."  

"It is a good morning Sushil. Happy day to you!" I respond while smiling. 

He smiles back and return to his seated position to finish the drink with his friends. 

As I walk back up my walkway my dog starts to bark at me as if welcoming me back home. I unlock the door and she jumps on me in her tail wagging, tongue licking, yipppeee your home greeting. Even she is in a good mood today. 

This is just a normal day in India. Outside the fence drama of course is happening. People are arguing or getting into fights but for this little moment all is peaceful in my neighborhood. Each day a new experience. A new smell. A new sight to see. 

Aw Rats....

I love monsoon season in India. It is great because all the rain makes the sky on a non-rainy day appear a piercing blue color. I love the fact that every plant turns deep green and hangs its head heavy soaking up all the lovely fat rain drops. I love the afternoon showers that are perfect for reading a good book. I love watching the little kids play in the falling rain and splash in the wide puddles.

So, the other night I go outside to take in my deep green backyard and appreciate the evening down pour. While sitting on my back porch sipping some Chai I spot something that made me yell out a loud, "Aw, Rats!"

Rats indeed. A rat den had been built in my back yard between my pool and the exterior wall of the garden. I could tell immediately what it was not because I could actually see a rat peeking out (had I seen that I would have yelled out a curse word and ran away immediately while shrieking), but because I knew the look of a rat hole from seeing them all over India over the last year. Aw Rats! Ugh! Beady red eyes. Dull gray coat. Disease spreading vermin.

The monsoon rains make them come out of the ground and spread like wild fire. When the roads flood and the water rises in the gutters and underground tunnels you see them everywhere. Hence why they had taken up residence in my yard having been forced up through our overflow pipes in the garden. The heavy rain forcing them to relocate to areas higher above the rising water. And it doesn't matter what neighborhood you live in every area has them. You can't stop the impact from the torrential amounts of rain that fall here.

So a quick trip to the store to purchase some rat killing cakes and half an hour later the bait was laid out for them. All over the yard the tasty treats awaited to kill their prey. I headed inside thinking....'Let them eat cake!'

And of course I awoke the next morning to the lovely smell of dead animals. So of course I had to say it again, "Aw Rats!" Smelly, yucky rats.

That is India for you. You have to learn to take the good that comes with the rain and the bad. 

It's Iffy

After much debated I decided to blog about a very real, and disturbing Indian event that occurs in the life of every expat (and I would guess many locals) while living here. It is not pretty but is definitely funny so if you are squeamish about normal (or in this case abnormal) bodily function do not read any further! OK? I mean it.

Several weeks ago we were enjoying a lovely Sunday brunch with some friends of ours at a local and wonderful restaurant that serves exquisite fresh dishes. The food included fresh seafood and as usual I had reservations about eating fish in India. Not because it doesn't look good but because of the normal gastrointestinal problems that seem to follow the indulgence and that also seemed to be attacking me as of late.

My friend was looking at me while I eyeballed the fish dishes and chimed in, "You are making a disgusted face Lisa. Do you not want any fish dear?"

I didn't want to offend my friend by explaining to her the trouble my body seemed to be having lately with digesting food but at the same time I was sort of worried my body had started hating me, or at least had started hating living in India. So I just nodded.

Now, these are close friends of ours so my husband, who always takes the charge, started laughing and began to explain to them that I was having trouble going potty. It either was coming out in a runny disgusting mess or I was severely constipated. One or the other. No exceptions. I was not in the least bit embarrassed for I knew that everyone at that table had encountered similar problems while living here and I was secretly hoping for a recommendation on how to get rid of this problem.

Another male friend of ours sitting at the same table overheard this side conversation said, "Oh yeah? I have that problem all the time. I call it IFI (or iffy). Which stands for Incredible Freaking India syndrome. Great food. Terrible poop."

Everyone at the table started laughing uncontrollably but our male friend just keep right on going. "When I meet new people I like to say 'Hi, my name is ____ and I haven't peed out of my butt in 3 days. Nice to meet you."

We were rolling. I mean rolling. It is so true it was hilarious. Everyone goes around the table and says "Hi, my name is _____ and I haven't peed out of my butt in ___ days."

Sorry that story is so gross. But if you lived here you would understand. All you can do is laugh about it because it happens to everyone. Now whenever I talk to my sister or friends back home and they ask how things are going I say "Well it's iffy." I always start laughing and then I have to share that story.

Incredible Freaking India Syndrome. Great food. Bad poop.

Monsoon Season 2012 Pictures

This Backseat Sure is Comfortable

My husband and I hadn't spent in anytime in Emporio or Promenade Mall in New Delhi so we ventured that way today to spend some time indoors. One reason for the visit is because during monsoon season the heavy rains sure can put a damper on your outdoor fun. The second, and possibly more important reason, is that my husband drives a Harley Road King in the US and had heard they had a Harley store in the mall. He wanted to see what accessories they had to outfit his bike or his person.

Now these 2 malls we visited happen to cater to some of the wealthier folks that live in the area so while we were window shopping and wondering around drinking coffee we happened to notice that they were advertising the new Audi A6 in the middle of the mall.

We stopped by the car to take a look at its sleek lines and beautiful interior. It was very attractive in a gleaming black and chrome kind of way. All sparkly and new. Then we noticed an odd thing...there was a line of "wealthier" people who were waiting to try out the backseat. Seriously! These folks were considering buying the car all they cared about was how comfortable the back seat was to them. In other words, they didn't care how the vehicle drove, how comfortable the driver's seat was, or what amenities the car had...all they cared about was the ride from the back of the car. You see in India most people buying an Audi have a driver to escort them everywhere thus the most important part of the car is the view from the back of it.

To an American this was very strange indeed, thus why Lance and I began laughing. In the states, all you care about is how the thing drives and how comfortable the driver's seat is since we don't have someone there to drive us around from point A to B. Funny, these tiny moments make me realize just how different the two cultures are from each other.

So it got me thinking. It is kind of an American iconic image right...getting into your car...rolling down the windows...and cruising around alone (or with friends) listening to "American Pie" (or in my husband's case DMB's "American Baby"). Think about the classic Route 66 and you've got the general gist of the thing. Thus, I must say that today I miss my car. I miss my independence. I miss the freedom to talk in my car with my husband about whatever I want and not have a driver listening in. I miss listening to my own music for once. I miss my lovely, beautiful silver 4 door car. But I truly don't really care about my backseat at all. I just want to put the peddle to the metal and DRIVE. Yeah baby. I miss that!

So if you happen to live in a place where you have the freedom, and privilege, of owning your own car that you personally drive....do me a favor, will you? Take a drive by yourself this week, roll down the windows, crank up your favorite music, and enjoy the ride.  : )

Humayun's Tomb

Today my husband and I went to the tomb of Humayun, a Mughal Emperor, which dates to 1562. I just wanted to share a few pictures from our visit with you of this UNESCO World Heritage Site. Truly a spectacular structure that was the inspiration for the later building of the Taj Mahal.

Life is All About Choices

This week has been a rough one for me.

When my husband and I decided to move to India and accept a promotion for him to a new position we were excited about the prospective of living abroad. I researched extensively before agreeing to move here. Social, political, environment issues in the country did not escape my scrutiny. I read blog pages from locals and expats alike. I read the national and local news in the area for months ahead of the move. We even visited for a week last October to ensure we knew about the food options and grocery stores, shopping malls and outdoor markets, and best neighborhoods to live. Really we ran the gauntlet of issues and problems. We even met our local doctor (provided by the company), a good pharmacy, and a decent dentist.

We were very certain that we could make it in this country of extremes but we DID have one decision that remained a topic for discussion for some time to come. You see we have 2 elderly cats and one large (90 lb) dog that are part of our happy little family. My cat Obi is a 13 year old, long haired golden cat that looks like Garfield only cuter and is extremely wise like an owl. Silly, a female tortoise, short haired cat that is very demanding of attention and has been for the last 12 years. And Bella, the large loud mouthed but loving black and tan dog. We debated for months about taking them with us to India. After a long drawn out tug of war we decided to bring them with us.

By the time they arrived in Delhi they had traveled 8,000 miles each and had 3 stops each on a different continent. When they arrived in the cool morning hours of winter at our home in Gurgaon their crates were each covered with stickers that said, "Via Amsterdam," and "To Delhi," and "Kansas City." I remember telling Lance, "Heck our pet have traveled more places than most of our friends." World travelers indeed.

The adjustment to live in India was fairly easy for my dog and the eldest cat, Obi, who had been buddies for some time. Silly remained aloof but slowly adjusted to life here.

The problem came when we needed/wanted to travel. Our driver, Sushil, who lives with us willing agreed to care for our cats when we were away but the dog was another story. She could be a handful. So, we asked around and found a kennel, that is really just a large farm, with huge open air pens that had a good reputation among the people we knew who took their pets there. We used them over the last few months without any difficulties. That all changed as of this week.

The problem began with Bella upon our return from Thailand. We picked her up from the kennel and upon returning home we noticed that she had sever diarrhea and, as gross as it sounds, her farts were extremely smelly. We kept an eye on her and the problem seemed to go away on its own. So, we chalked it up to bad water she had drunk or a mix up with the food they given her during her stay. Both of which had been a problem for our own "people" stomachs here (diarrhea and smelly farts) from eating or drinking bad food or water.

This past weekend though, the problem came back only worse. By Monday she was sleeping a lot more. Tuesday she stopped eating her meals and by Wednesday morning she wouldn't eat her favorite snacks (a beefy stick treat called a Pup-peroni) and the upset stomach was back in smelly force. We called our local  vet but at this point her symptoms were not terrible so with Wednesday being a holiday she agreed to see our dog Thursday morning at 10 am. I painfully watched her deteriorate as the day wore on.

That night I couldn't sleep I was so worried about our dog so I kept listening to her breathing as it increased to a rapid pace. She couldn't seem to get comfortable and she hadn't eaten anything all day. She began to sneeze, so I switched on the light around midnight to discover that she was bleeding from her nose. I immediately woke up my husband. We rushed her to the local animal hospital to treat her.

They said her temperature was 105.7 F, well out of the normal range, and that her spleen was enlarged. They immediately began rushing around getting an IV into her to decrease her temperature. The pumped her full of antibiotics to stop the spread of the infection that was raking through her little body. They informed us that she was very sick with some kind of tick fever, in other words a blood parasite had infected her body and was rapidly spreading. This particular blood parasite was very common from tick bites in India. Her blood platelet count was very low and with the enlargement of her spleen she couldn't fight off the problem on her own.

2 overnight stays in the pet hospital and we were finally able to take her to our regular vet today for a second opinion on the diagnosis, who was very apologetic about the Wednesday (holiday) thing. She kept stating, "I didn't realize she was in such bad shape." Of course I explained that the situation had just seemed to get worse as the day wore on to the point that we had to take her to the emergency clinic. They are running more tests on her blood as I type this. As of right now she is still not great, but at least she is at home and seems to be doing better. No bleeding. No messy potty breaks. A normal temperature. Eating food. Sadly she will be on 5 different medications for the next month or two depending on how much she improves.

Life is all about choices. We made choices to move here as a family (husband, wife, 2 cats, and a dog). Those choices sometimes feel like mistakes in the moment when people or pets are ill. Despite all of our precautions for us and our pets, tons of shots to immunize our pets from diseases like Lyme's and Rabies, monthly treatment with Frontline (a liquid that was suppose to keep ticks from infecting them), monthly de-worming medicines, the best pet foods and treats, they still get sick. We can still get sick, stomach bugs whatever. No one person or pet for that matter is immune to everything...right.

My mom has a great saying and used to tell me all the time as a younger person growing up, "You can not dwell on the past. Remind yourself that you made the best decision in the moment." So, taking that to heart, I will not blame myself for bringing my pets with me so we could be a family in India. I WILL focus on the next decision and making a good one for myself and all of my pets. That decision most likely WILL involve us sending them home to the US sooner rather than later so that the diseases here don't kill them. That is a decision I can make for them today...a decision that is best given the situation....in the moment.

There is a fantastic quote from one of my favorite movies that I love say, "Hindsight. It's like foresight... without a future." True. True. True indeed. 

On the Subject of Happiness

I am reading a very good book on the subject of happiness called "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. It is a very good read thus far so in honor of such a good book, I created my own personal list of 20 simple reasons that I enjoy living in India (in no particular order)...

1) My hour long uninterrupted yoga practice every day.
2) How blue the sky looks on a clear day during monsoon season.
3) The ability to travel...a lot.
4)The fact that I have never 'messed my pants' while living here despite the fact that every other expat I know has done this disgusting thing due to the plethora of stomach bugs we get.
5) The produce is so fresh and cheap. For example, a huge bag of potatoes is about 30 rupees or $.60.
6) My love of tea! For iced tea I love passion fruit or peach and hot...chai masala.
7) My awesome book club. Loud, funny ladies that drink wine together over a good book.
8) Our weekly Sunday tradition. My husband has his guitar lesson in the afternoon while I kill time shopping at my favorite clothing store, Anokhi, or drinking tea and reading at a local cafe.
9) How silent the world is when I float on my back in our pool in the backyard.
10) How easy it is to make friends with people from all over the world who have moved to India. I think that there are a lot of new people here that are a little lonely. No walls are up so the people are lovely!
11) Caftans. Really!!!  :) I live in them.
12) Poker night with friends and the silly black trophy the winner gets to keep that is just a free mug I got from some trip that has the letter 'U' on it. When someone wins we all say, "U, U, U," while we appreciatively point our finger at them.
13) The great jewelry store I love in New Delhi with the beautiful old wooden front doors. Nice things await inside those doors.
14) Painting just for me. No one else's work hangs on my walls in this house.
15) Freedom from worry in regards to theft. Nothing in my house in India is really mine, except the paintings and clothes and those are replaceable. Nice feeling to never worry about that stuff disappearing.
16) Being a local on the week days and a tourist on the weekends.
17) Paneer Tikka. Spicy and yummy!
18) The way my dog looks down on me while I am lying on the floor in corpse pose at the end of my yoga practice. Her ears flop down in her face as she searches my face trying to figure out why I am on the floor laying like that. It is so funny and cute.
19) Having enough free time to read more books that I ever have before in my life.
20) My extremely inexpensive phone bill each month...like 200 rupees or $4. Wow!!!

I challenge you to name the top 20 things you love about your life wherever it is that you live.

Thailand 2012

One of the main reasons I enjoy being an expat is the ability to travel more often than I would if I were still living in the US. The main reason for the increase in travel is the close proximity to places I have always wanted to see but otherwise traveling to would have been too expensive. My husband and I just returned from a lovely trip to Thailand with two of our friends, Mike and Emi. The entire trip was an absolute delight from start to finish. So, I wanted to share a few pictures with you from our travels. Enjoy!