A 4 Inch Lizard Attack

My dog is a maniac. She wakes me up in the middle of the night to inform me that there is a 4 inch long lizard in our bedroom. She was so funny. She kept barking at it then walking over to the bed to make a whining doggy noise at me as if she was saying, 'Oh goodness mommy, there is a strange little thing skinny creature crawling on our ceiling. It is up to high for me to get to it to kill it. Please do something before it murders the whole household.'

Whine at me, walk over and bark at the lizard, whine at me some more, walk back to the lizard and bark, over and over again. My husband snoozed through the whole ordeal. So I try to shoo the lizard out the door but it goes the other way directly over our bed. I wake up my snoring husband who tells me in a sleepy, bored tone to throw a slipper at the silly thing to get it to move.

Bella keeps whining at me as if to say, 'Oh goodness, I want to get it. Do something.'

So, I chunk a slipper at it hoping it would head down the wall where I could get to it more easily. The slipper skids off the wall and lands on my husband's pillow beside his half asleep body. He shrieks in a high pitched voice and bolts upright thinking it is the lizard that has landed with a thud on his pillow. I start laughing hysterically and my dog barks and whines loudly laughing at the funny situation too.

After we all stop laughing, including my husband, we realize the lizard hasn't moved. So, I turn on the ceiling fan and the movement of the air forces the little guy down the wall and into a plastic bag I had waiting for him. I then swiftly head out to the balcony and open the bag. The lizard is then thrown, unceremoniously, out of the bag into the soft grass one floor below. I hope at this point that the little guy made it.

Then early this morning I take Bella out to the go potty. In the fresh light of the new day my dog begins to chase the same little 4 inch lizard around the yard, along the walls of the fence, and up a small shrub. Around and around. She barks and chases. I yell at her, "Leave it Bella." But to no avail. I look around frantic to find some way to save the little guy from the 90 lb dog who is desperate to play with the thing until it's heart gives out.

I realize that the only way to save the lizard is to grab his tail and fling him over the fence. So, I distract my dog with a doggy bone and grab the little guy by his long tail and FLING...over the fence he goes. I figured if he could survive the fall from the 2nd floor and the playful but painful attack from Bella he could survive a flip over the fence from me.

Later today I spotted him lounging up in the tree several feet from our home. He survived. I figure he will find a more hospitable house and yard in which to lounge.