I don't know if many of my friends know this but I am a yogi. An avid fan of the yoga. So every day at around 11:30 am here in India I do my yoga practice for about an hour. Some days more than an hour. Some days less. Afterwards I feel lighter, stronger, and much more relaxed. For those fellow practicers of this exercise you understand this feeling.
So let me explain how yoga helped me yesterday. First off, I was frustrated!
The gentleman who cleans my house for me every day informs me that starting next month his new rate will be $20 US dollars more. I was shocked. There was no negotiation. No request for a raise. I was dumbfounded and extremely upset. He just states it as a fact. Thoughts fill my brain about how he shows up late almost every day (last week in fact he was an hour late and Saturday he didn't show up at all). I think about firing him on the spot but all in all he does pretty good work. So I politely smile and say that my husband and I will have to discuss that and get back with him.
He leaves promptly at 11:00 am like normal. By 11:30 I am on my yoga mat ready to focus on "living and breathing in the moment." BUT I CAN'T. I AM PISSED. You see in the US we don't demand a raise we ask for it. Maybe it is because I spent so many years in Human Resources but this is really struck a nerve with me so I get up from my mat and call Lance at work. While pacing back and forth I explain the problem and he says, "Let me ask a few folks around here how the house cleaner raise thing works." You see in India everyone has a house cleaner. Many house cleaners actually live with the family for whom they clean. Others come for 8 hours a day and leave at the end of their shift. I have only requested that my help come for 2 hours a day in the morning. Not a bad gig...right. Less work than most for the same amount of money. I tell Lance, "We have already been overpaying him for the 2 hours of work he does for us every day." We hang up.
So I go back to my mat. I am still mad.
I try to relax. Stretch my body into Downard Facing Dog. Then I realize this isn't working. I need to do some flows. So I contort my body into a full 15 minutes of Sun Salutations. That isn't working either. Why am I letting this get to me so much!
So, I stop the yoga for the day disappointed in myself for not accomplishing my goal while living in India of doing a full yoga practice each day. Now my anger at my house cleaner has passed on to anger at myself. I reach for my trusted friend...."Meditations from the Mat." This is a fantastic book about practicing yoga and generally being a better person. And wouldn't you know the lesson for the day is titled "The prize is in the process." I read the rest of the lesson and understand that I need to return to my mat to work through the process of being upset.
So I meditate in a cross legged position. I think about my house cleaner. I send him good will and happy thoughts. I focus on thoughts like "He is a good person. He has a family to support. Every problem has a solution. " I leave my mat after 20 minutes feeling much better and smiling.
Lance comes home that evening at 6:30 like normal and wouldn't you know it...the problem has been solved. One of the local people who works with Lance (and speaks Hindi) called our house cleaner and explained that it is normal for the house keeper to ask for a raise after 9 months to a year of work not after 3 months of service and that the home owner would decide if the raise was warranted. The cleaner said he understood. And Lance confirmed with him. Problem solved. The next day my house cleaner was 15 minutes early and had a smile on his face. We had reached an agreement to wait on the raise.
"He is a good person. He has a family to support. Every problem has a solution."
Send good thoughts to the person who is making you angry today!
It just might help (in more ways than one.)
So let me explain how yoga helped me yesterday. First off, I was frustrated!
The gentleman who cleans my house for me every day informs me that starting next month his new rate will be $20 US dollars more. I was shocked. There was no negotiation. No request for a raise. I was dumbfounded and extremely upset. He just states it as a fact. Thoughts fill my brain about how he shows up late almost every day (last week in fact he was an hour late and Saturday he didn't show up at all). I think about firing him on the spot but all in all he does pretty good work. So I politely smile and say that my husband and I will have to discuss that and get back with him.
He leaves promptly at 11:00 am like normal. By 11:30 I am on my yoga mat ready to focus on "living and breathing in the moment." BUT I CAN'T. I AM PISSED. You see in the US we don't demand a raise we ask for it. Maybe it is because I spent so many years in Human Resources but this is really struck a nerve with me so I get up from my mat and call Lance at work. While pacing back and forth I explain the problem and he says, "Let me ask a few folks around here how the house cleaner raise thing works." You see in India everyone has a house cleaner. Many house cleaners actually live with the family for whom they clean. Others come for 8 hours a day and leave at the end of their shift. I have only requested that my help come for 2 hours a day in the morning. Not a bad gig...right. Less work than most for the same amount of money. I tell Lance, "We have already been overpaying him for the 2 hours of work he does for us every day." We hang up.
So I go back to my mat. I am still mad.
I try to relax. Stretch my body into Downard Facing Dog. Then I realize this isn't working. I need to do some flows. So I contort my body into a full 15 minutes of Sun Salutations. That isn't working either. Why am I letting this get to me so much!
So, I stop the yoga for the day disappointed in myself for not accomplishing my goal while living in India of doing a full yoga practice each day. Now my anger at my house cleaner has passed on to anger at myself. I reach for my trusted friend...."Meditations from the Mat." This is a fantastic book about practicing yoga and generally being a better person. And wouldn't you know the lesson for the day is titled "The prize is in the process." I read the rest of the lesson and understand that I need to return to my mat to work through the process of being upset.
So I meditate in a cross legged position. I think about my house cleaner. I send him good will and happy thoughts. I focus on thoughts like "He is a good person. He has a family to support. Every problem has a solution. " I leave my mat after 20 minutes feeling much better and smiling.
Lance comes home that evening at 6:30 like normal and wouldn't you know it...the problem has been solved. One of the local people who works with Lance (and speaks Hindi) called our house cleaner and explained that it is normal for the house keeper to ask for a raise after 9 months to a year of work not after 3 months of service and that the home owner would decide if the raise was warranted. The cleaner said he understood. And Lance confirmed with him. Problem solved. The next day my house cleaner was 15 minutes early and had a smile on his face. We had reached an agreement to wait on the raise.
"He is a good person. He has a family to support. Every problem has a solution."
Send good thoughts to the person who is making you angry today!
It just might help (in more ways than one.)
Yep, I needed this today. I'm so glad you're liking the book! I need to buy myself a copy. :)
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Great story. t
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